I was already wondering where you were. I'm glad you're well and healthy. I had asked myself briefly how I would actually find out if you got sick or something like that. Are you also reachable on discord? I think I've asked that before. I will get back to you soon and give you some feedback on your experience of the last days. First of all I wish you that you enjoy the water and that there is electricity again.
Sincerely,
Erika
:) I can only appreciate your interest. Sorry, I don't currently have a discord account, I'm only in Steemit for now.
How are you? on the other side, are you okay? That's really a more important question, because in Venezuela, things like these happen more or less often, only they don't last long. How is everything there in Germany?
Thank you, I am fine so far. As you have already seen I was somewhat worried with my thoughts on AI, went through a tale of desperation but found support in more calm and rational texts and people. Usually, the Buddhists save me from falling insane.
Worry is really one of the worst things as it creates a lot of suffering. That does not help in remaining calm. It's maybe because I am a mother and care for the next genereations. But then I also care for humankind on a whole and wish others well.
People do take things really way too personal, I realize this ever so often in my work with clients. I feel like an ambassador who endlessly explains that almost nothing what authorities or others are telling one is ever meant so personal. Most people care more about themselves than about the other and many of the insults people think are hidden in responses or letters are pure illusion.
What makes me happy is when I see that a client drops the dime, thus has a aha-experience in which it becomes clear to him or her that most what he thought was projection.
I find a lot of consolation in my work.
Germany is a land of milk and honey, if you ask me. We have EVERYTHING from the material point of view. We live better than the kings & queens of past eras, yet we think that we suffer. This suffering is clearly psychological and I think the core of it is that we all are aware of the fact that someone else pays the price. This guilt must be worked on and taken into a realistic mental performance in order to feel self effectiveness and coming out of the victim mode.
I am looking forward to spring. A dropout would do us good, I think.
I really liked your humorous and at the same time realistic point of view on the recent dropout. I feel thankful that you described this situation from your point of view and also gave us some observations along with it.
Sweet and sour comes always in a pack.
Bye for now, my friend.
Worry, like anxiety, indeed creates a lot of suffering. For some reason we think that by suffering from the problems we will solve them. The solution, as you say, is in the calm and reason, for me it is like this, because if you examine thoroughly the problems that are so feared, there really is not much reason to be afraid of them, and most of the time is unfounded.
To some, meditation helps them to solve problems, to keep calm, without thinking, and all that, although I really believe that it is not for everyone. For me the best solution is always to analyze the problems thoroughly, logically, chatting with myself, and finally realize that what I feared is not really fearsome, and that for what I worry about, it would be good to leave to worry. Only after doing this can I find calm.
For the rest, both in the AI, as in the Gestalt thing and everything else, our views are almost always quite similar, only that I almost never give my point of view but how I think things should be. And not as I want.
Both sweet and sour serve for something. :)
Also, I think that people, perhaps, should always take things personally, because if people feel they are referred, it is because they feel that what is said is true (in some way) in their case (if not, it would not bother us at all). Although only if they are always willing to improve and not to give up. The illusions that people see always have something real, because on the one hand, there must be a cause for that illusion to be taken as true, and second, there must be something personal that we are projecting, and therefore, we must take personally. Although that does not mean that we should react to that personally.
Like a few months ago, I read something and it bothered me, but then I realized that it was only my interpretation, however, my interpretation was a way in which I myself gave my opinion to me placing it in the text of another.
I don't think that modern people, even in Germany, live better than the kings of the past, we surely have more trinkets and mirrors like the story of the Indians and the Spaniards, but that does not mean that we live better. I even think that having a lot of material wealth can confuse the mind of really important things, psychological things above all, going from suffering because of others, like when we get upset about what others do or don't do, to suffering because of ourselves, like when we feel guilty, but suffering show us...
Anyway, a dropout would be good, if you think. See ya.
Right, thanks for expanding the thought. I want to add another example:
The other day I had a client who received a notice from the authority informing her only of the amount and a small increase in her payment. Since the authorities are obliged to draw attention to the duty of the beneficiaries to cooperate, as well as to the fact that an official decision may be appealed against within one month, my client suspected that there was a knowledge behind it of what affected her personally.
She suspected that people knew about her personal plans and that she was therefore called upon to respond to this letter. She was afraid that her money could be cut or even cancelled altogether and revealed her complete ignorance of the legal situation. Many of my clients suspect a greater knowledge behind the letters they receive and take requests for cooperation as wantonness that they would be unnecessarily controlled and harassed. The additions of legal means are only a standard reference and no more.
But she expressed herself in such a way that she found it insolent that she was so pressured to reveal her personal plans. Letters are still perceived as very personal, as if there were a letter writer who would have written one in personal thought to the recipient. But this is not the case. Most official letters are automated and machine-made letters, nobody was involved. These are completely impersonal, purely factual contents.
This circumstance points to what you said: that the personal reference is basically intentional and the impersonal in an action is considered wrong. But if you confuse a purely business contract with an intimate relationship, you get the feeling that you are invisible as a human being and only visible as an object. This is not what people want.
This means that people in other places suffer from lack of personal relationship and basically their feeling is right, but placed in the wrong spot. So the client may have the right feeling - her life is too impersonal overall - and she always projects this lack exactly onto the situations she is getting into. It would be better to realize that this feeling of lack has its justification and to see how and where it can be satisfied. Also I told her, it's a good thing and an accomplishment of past efforts that citizens have certain rights and duties and that this is made clear, so it gives some certainty.
On a meta-level, the client is right insofar as a reduced personal contact between authorities and citizens is perceived as true. In fact, in the past it was possible to get a personal appointment much faster and even telephoning was associated with far fewer hurdles.
Material wealth: Yes, that was what I meant. So I exaggerated a little bit to make the point clear. I agree on that notion and explanation of yours.
As far as I got to know you you seem to be an mindful person who gets himself caught in acts of which you can change perspectives. That is a good quality and I appreciate it a lot that you have it.
You have a very good psychological approach. I think that with such an approach you can cover everyone very good, although not everything.
For example, projections are not the only type of illusions, the feeling of lack is also another illusion. Because when we feel that we lack something, we are isolating ourselves from everything else, believing that we are alone and suffering for that. The human is not perfect in itself, and needing things from the outside it indicates precisely that it is part of the "outside".
The feeling of lack produces the desire, and the desire leads us to plan and search for things in a forced way, which causes the suffering.
The trick is not to look for the things we want, because we don't get them while we look them. Although for that it's need a lot of confidence, first in nature, and second in us.
That means that there is no wrong spot, because wherever we go it will be that spot, it's just about finding creative solutions to the problems ;)
The only difference between a purely business contract and an intimate relationship is the confidence of the parties, that has to do with what they say over there that everything that has to do with people has to do also with relationships.
Also, the only way to become invisible as human beings is by forgetting ourselves.
Thank you very much for the compliment, although maybe I'm not a mindful person, maybe you're just making a projection :)
Oh, of course, to what the self is grasping, is an illusion. I think we talked to a satisfying degree about those self illusions, didn't we?
So I think people have to work on self realization in order to come to the conclusion that there is no real self.
In my work with clients I do one step after the other. Mostly it's about creating an atmosphere of trust and letting myself not being caught on grasping:) When I can succeed in letting go of judgemental thoughts, the sessions become really light and humorous.
In how I meant it, there is "a wrong spot" as the person has not yet realized that neediness must be contemplated with oneself before it's expressed in front of others as a demand, a desire, an order, a mandate etc.
If that happened and is realized then yes, it's true what you say that there is no wrong spot.
I wonder if a reading audience gets better what is meant by this exchange of our thoughts. I hope so.
The only difference between a purely business contract and an intimate relationship is the confidence of the parties, that has to do with what they say over there that everything that has to do with people has to do also with relationships.
I don't know if I understood that. A contract is designed in order to gain clarity about the nature of the relationship and to make the conditions transparent.
The nature of the relationship between the recipient of social benefits and the paying authority as the representative of the legislature is purely business. At least that is how it is presented. However, it is also somehow clear that in reality it is not a purely business relationship and this is the reason for the discomfort of the beneficiaries and the partial moral superiority of welfare.
However, I think it is best to pretend it is a cool business relationship, because I think morality has to be kept out, because otherwise it intervenes in this relationship from both sides in a very corrosive way and does more harm than good. Nevertheless, a moral value is still important, but you have to cultivate it within yourself and not give responsibility to the other. So both, the bureaucrat and the welfare recipient were good advised to act virtuous.
No, I am not projecting, I just followed your observation about yourself reading something and then changing your perspective - So maybe I should not say that you are a mindful person but you had a mindful moment ;-)